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YAPS… Milk

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YAPS… Milk


As a kid I loved me some milk. I loved all kinds of milk up until I went to college where there are never ending opportunities to ingest awful things for you body. So at a certain point I decided to hedge my bets and start drinking the skim milk that was more than available at every meal. That was just the beginning of my falling out with milk. Never in a million years did I think I would call milk a piece of shit, but here I am now, a first time homeowner that doesn’t like to waste money or food but if there’s one thing you don’t fuck around with it’s bad milk.


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mlz

Thursday, January 1, 2015


I am the kind of person that will eat anything at any point and will never have any issues. One time I was at a restaurant and ordered a cheeseburger. When it was delivered it looked as though it sat on the grill for maybe a minute or two. It was still mushy inside and the waiter came over and told me not to eat it he would go get me another one. I told him I appreciate it but don’t worry about it this will do just fine. He ignored me and later returned with a freshly cooked burger. When he couldn’t find the uncooked one he asked what happened to it and I responded by saying I told you not to worry about it because I would eat it. I never got mad cow disease, I never even got sick from it. It was perfectly fine by me. My point is expiration date or not, I’m not above eating something that has been deemed “expired”. Now being new to this homeownership thing I really don’t like to waste money on food and will figure out a way to consume whatever it is that I buy. But milk is one thing you just can’t fuck around with. Whether it’s in mac and cheese or just a splash in your coffee it will come back to bite you in the ass, literally. So now I buy the smallest thing of skim milk they sell and every time I am faced with drinking more milk than I now care to in a given jug of milks lifespan, throw it away just to buy more, or spend the day curled up by the toilet like I drank an entire bottle of 151 rum.


It pains me to say milk you are a piece of shit but not more than it pains me to drink expired milk or waste it and throw it away.


mlz

Thursday, January 1, 2015


 

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