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UFR... Movie Edition 1/25/14 

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I don’t know if I have been depressed or something lately but while I haven’t written much in the new year but I have been cranking out movies left and right. So it’s time to kill two birds with one stone and actually write something all the while cleaning out that section of notes in my phone. Hopefully I can turn you on to something good you haven’t seen yet or save you some time from something bad that you were planning on seeing.



Good Burger

Of course this is a silly movie but it feels as though they knew it while they made it. There are a lot of tongue in cheek situations that wouldn’t be as funny if they were really taking themselves seriously. Like for instance, Keenan and Kel end up in the looney bin and to escape they create an impromptu dance routine that all the crazies seem to know every step to. Then Keenan gets thrown out of a second story window and the rest of the crew just jumps out said second story window, without even one turned ankle en route to escaping. I’m pretty sure if you are watching this old school Nickelodeon movie you aren’t expecting an Oscar worthy performance but you should expect to have fun because that is exactly what this movie is, fun.

PS. There is a silly scene with Shaq that I totally forgot about, that made me laugh out loud.




Clear History

I don’t think I’m alone in my first reaction to this movie once I fired it up was “Holy Larry David beard”. This movie feels like a long episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm, so if you enjoyed that series you will love this movie. Not to forget how loaded this cast is. The names are nearly endless; Larry David, Bill Hader, Philip Baker Hall, Jon Hamm, Kate Hudson, Michael Keaton, Danny McBride, Eva Mendes, Paul Scheer, Amy Ryan, J.B. Smoove, Lenny Clarke, at least one Farrelly brother and I’m sure I’m forgetting a few others carry this awesome made for TV comedy movie about a former marketing expert, Larry David, trying to get revenge on an old boss, Jon Hamm, who made billions off the electric car business shortly after letting Larry David’s character go.





Nic Cage, Malin Akerman, and Josh Lucas star in this movie that has a rather nice cast for a movie I had never heard of, but the plot provides all the reason needed. I only made three notes that spanned over the course of the movie.

1. Lucas puts Cage’s kid in the trunk and she can’t get out because there’s no glow in the dark parachute tab?

2. The whole plan was to put her in the trunk?

3. The entire movie is about her in the trunk.

I assumed the movie was going to go in a different direction after he kidnapped Cage’s kid but nope, this movie is about a kid in a trunk for nearly all 96 minutes. However, it wasn’t a total bust. There were a few scenes in which they perform heists that are kind of fun. Regardless, this is a crappy movie. Thankfully I enjoy crappy movies and honestly did enjoy this for the most part.




Road House

There is not much to say about this film that hasn’t already been said but for some reason I just had never brought myself to watch it. Despite it being right up my alley I never pushed play for some reason. But just recently I finally did and about 10 minutes in I texted a buddy of mine saying what an idiot I am and how I don’t even need to watch the rest to know it is an absolute travesty that they are remaking it. I loved incredibly humble he was being when he said something along the lines of he doesn’t think he’s the best, despite the fact that he’s a bouncer and is being sought out to take over the Double Deuce and that he doesn’t fly because it’s “too dangerous”. RIP Swayze hopefully this remake falls flat on it’s face before it sees the light of day, or the dark of theatres I guess.




Say Anything

Another oldie but goodie that I just recently watched for the first time. This one really does still hold up as a great chick flick. There were a couple things that really stood out to me, first when Cusack is newly broken up he is recording himself in his car while driving… maybe we should be calling him a podcast pioneer? Second the chick and her father have a bff relationship and one of the times she sort of disrespected his rules, he plants his ass in an empty bathtub in order to go into deep thought? How is that comforting? The last time I laid in a bathtub there was a lot of alcohol involved and I ended up with a bruised tailbone for about a week and a half.




Star Trek: Into Darkness

This movie sucked. From what I hear it was just a total remake of an old Star Trek movie, not that I saw that because I don’t typically like these kind of movies. But I did enjoy the first Chris Pine Star Trek movie so I was expecting more from this one. The one thing I couldn’t get past early and often enough to take me out of the movie was, if this Kahn fella was genetically created to be better then why are his teeth so bad?




Place Beyond the Pines

I swear I heard people talking highly of this flick earlier in the year. I watched this not really knowing what it was, but all the while expecting a 7/10. Instead what they give you is a 2.5 hour movie with basically three separate plots that have almost no segue between them and since the movie takes place over a long span of time, this movie feels infinitely longer than just its 140 minute run time. This is a movie that is incredibly easy to drift off in the middle of. It was difficult to fully pay attention to and ultimately was completely forgettable. I will say this though, Eva Mendes is looking really great. I was always a fan of her but she might be peaking right now, at least from a looks department.


PS. If you still want to see this don’t read this next part. The first 50 minutes of this movie are about Ryan Gosling’s character and wasn’t bad up until this point in which he dies and the movie transforms into something completely different. Then about half an hour later it takes another weird turn. One note for all movie makers out there, unless your name is Quentin Tarantino and you have Christoph Waltz signed on, don’t go killing off the character you have based 100% of the movie on halfway through.




The Great Gatsby

While I love me some Leo, I put watching this movie off for a reason. Only it had been so long since I had thought about it, that I forgot what that reason was until scene one when Tobey Maguire reared his ugly head. Then I couldn’t help but dread the remaining two hours and twenty minutes. He wasn’t the only issue I had with an ultimately boring movie, but what was up with the music? This story that took place decades ago has a soundtrack filled with Jay-Z? Everytime he came on I couldn’t help but ask “What the fuck is going on?” or “What the fuck were they thinking?”. When this movie wasn’t raising my blood pressure it was boring the shit out of me. My final score gets a bit of a bump just because Leo is great at acting but beware, this movie sucked ass.



Crimes and Misdemeanors

Another old movie that took me way too long to actually watch. I haven’t come close to completing the Woody Allen catalog but I’m not entirely sure I want to. While I enjoyed this movie all I have heard over the years is how it’s right up there with some of the all time greats. For some reason I am not as enamored with Woody Allen as it seems most everyone else is. He has made some good stuff but I don’t know what it is I just don’t find him very funny. He isn’t bad by any stretch of the imagination but I feel like he may be a bit overrated. However, there are plenty other movies of his that I need to watch before really having a strong opinion. But right now there is at least a seed that has been planted, and it may die off without water or it may blossom into your neighbors’ kids obnoxious 8’ sunflower plant on their front lawn.




This was a rather cute movie. I love me some Paul Rudd as well as Tina Fey and they really carry this film to another level. The plot isn’t the greatest, but the two of them make it worthwhile. She is in Yale’s admissions department and he is working at a new college in Vermont. He convinces her to make a visit and ends up talking her into one great kid who is interested in Yale and might also be her child. You can figure out where it goes from there, but again Tina Fey and Paul Rudd are both really good actors and are both very funny. This is a nice little date night movie, that will provide some good laughs and provides some great dramatic acting by Fey as well.




Deep Impact

Good ole disaster film. In this one there is a comet, the size of Mount Everest, on a collision course with Earth threatening to wipe out all of mankind. So naturally, they choose a crew of rookies and one old ass Robert Duvall to go into space and blow this sucker up. It’s no Armageddon in a sense of ridiculousness or fun so take that for whatever it’s worth.



This Means War

This movie I ended up watching just because my TV happened to be on the right channel at the right time. It starts off with a feel that this could make for a good buddy cop movie, only it then turns into a bit of a chick flick. Chris Pine and Tom Hardy are partners that both end up meeting the same chick, Reese Witherspoon whom by the way looks amazing, and end up having a bit of a competition to see who can land her. You know how this one goes, they vow to not let her come between them, smash cut to them fighting over her. Despite me making it sound like you’ve seen this movie a million times already, it’s worth seeing. It’s not quite as bland as that and has quite a few really good laughs.



Drinking Buddies

Finally, Drinking Buddies is about Jake Johnson and Olivia Wilde who are coworkers at a brewery, and what the title suggests… drinking buddies. One weekend away together with their significant others, Anna Kendrick and Ron Livingston, and things become more and more complicated. This movie really sucked me in for some reason. It felt like it hit home like no movie has for a while. It’s not a great movie, but it is really well done and was deservingly well received by the critics.



Saturday, January 25, 2014

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