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Enough Geico

These commercials are on our TV's and on our radios. They're slowly eroding our brains. I just can't take it anymore.

I'm sure we can all agree that these commercials are aggressively bad. I don't understand how they can continuously have the worst commercials going. Even the 9th guy in the lineup gets a hit once in a while. Bad analogy Geico would have been out of the league long ago in the commercial business.

There may be some swearing, and some pacing on my end. I've now realized I need to re-watch some of these to figure out which video is which since I labelled too many "fuck you".

The creepy eyeballs? Nobody wastes more money and less energy on advertising in the world than Geico. Why didn't anyone just reach out and take the money and rip the things eyeballs off? Why didn't anyone hit the thing with mace? If it was lurking and scaring everyone why didn't anyone smash it with something? And aren't they doing us all a disservice by not having at least one Three Stooges style eye poke? 

This fucking pig should be embarrassing to the company. This is the furthest thing from funny. It's painfully unfunny.

Yes. This is what sells car insurance. An overly hairy guy we are to believe is a caveman, dressed in a cheerleaders outfit whining like a bitch to Brian Orakpo. They must have done a study.

The cavemen might be the worst of the worst. Somehow they had a solid run in Hollywood and continue to land these stupid commercials. I'm no caveman racist, I have plenty of caveman friends, you guys just aren't the slightest bit funny or entertaining. As a matter of fact you are really annoying. None of those commercials went... Acting, it's so easy a caveman could do it.

This little asshole needs to be ripped to pieces by a hungry cat. He's always trying to talk his way around you. In this instance he accidentally eats a dollar? That's how you sell car insurance? We'll start by taking your first dollar and eating it as if it were a potato chip. Is the owner of Geico camera shy, or is he morbidly obese? Why did you employ someone to come up with one of the laziest mascots there is. I'm fine with it but Geico, gecko? Simple alliteration is how we are going? Nothing at all to do with your service, or anything that you represent. Just an annoying little asshole with a big mouth and eyes I just want to rapidly jab with the business end of a letter opener.  

A lot of people would argue this is a good one. I would argue Eddie Money isn't selling car insurance, Eddie Money is selling Eddie Money.

What are these? There's so effing many and they are all a zero. Not one is remotely entertaining, nor creative. They're just asking stupid questions while saying how good they are. Nothing to do with what they're providing just that Ed 'Too Tall' Jones was in fact too tall. Thanks Geico, you've won me over. I'm in, sign me up for some insurance.

You suck Geico. You fucking suck. Stop invading our lives with your bullshit. There should be a class action lawsuit against you guys for dumbing everyone down. Stop parading around your group of jackasses and thrusting them upon us. We don't want it. Nobody could want this must shit in their life. We have enough shit in our lives, we don't need you to add on. Make something mildly entertaining/informative to human beings, not robots.  

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

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